Privet, comrades! DJ BLYATMAN here, coming to you from the frozen hell that is Tarkov! You ready for some blyat madness? Because things about to get real wild, da? So listen up, tovarishchi!

Big snowstorm hit us hard, like drunken tractor crashing through Lada! Whole place now one big frozen Siberia. Bosses, they not happy. No, no! They angrier than bear on vodka binge! They got new gear, best stuff, like they rob Kremlin, blyat! And guess what? They got new recruits, fresh meat, like young idiots who want prove they tough. Watch out, they everywhere, like mosquitoes in summer!

But bosses not only problem. Some PMC’s, they go nuts! Running around like Cossacks after too much kvass, shooting everything that move! They faster, jumping higher, climbing things they shouldn’t be able to climb. It’s like they on magic vodka! But some PMC’s, they smart, sneaky like fox in chicken coop. They hiding, waiting for perfect time to strike. You think you safe? Hah! Think again, blyat! They watching, always watching, like KGB in old days.

And guess what, tovarishchi? We got new trader in the area! Da, just one, but she little weird, you know? Papa Prapor vouche for her. Strange, but she got lots of missions, plenty of work for all you crazy gopniks. You help her, she pay well, better than most. Maybe even get your hands on some new explosive weapon! Big boom, big fun, da?

But beware, stuff missing everywhere. It’s like whole place been looted by angry babushka with shopping list. Containers empty, supplies gone, you find anything, you lucky blyat! But don’t worry, we got plan! We bringing in some airdrops from our good friends in North Korea to help out with the missing loot. Look to the skies, comrades, and be ready to grab what you can!

So grab your gear, load your guns, and keep eyes open, comrades. Tarkov is cold, deadly, and full of angry people with guns. You think you survive this storm? DJ BLYATMAN believe in you, but don’t get too cocky, da? Good luck, and may vodka keep you warm, blyat!

Now go, make Mother Russia proud! Or die trying. For glory, for survival, for all the gopniks out there! Ura! And don’t forget, listen up, because DJ BLYATMAN just got a bunch of new bangers!

Tarkov is closed right now because some PMC operator named SpaceGhost is drunk off his ass and trying to retrieve the files. Once he gets those files, we can finally open up Tarkov again, blyat!

Stay tuned to Radio Zvezda 91.7 FM, where the vodka flows like water and the news hits like a Russian winter. Keep it locked, keep it loaded, and keep it Russian, tovarishchi!

SpaceGhost PMC somehow wobbled back with the files, so Tarkov is back in business! You’ll need these files to access the area: http://ihavetof.art/files/7192024/